1 Peter 3:1-6
First Christian Church, Owensville, IN
June 14, 2020
Bart W. Newton, Preaching Minister
Below is only a skeleton outline of main points, Scriptures and quotations of the message presented via Facebook Live on June 14, 2020.
(Abbreviations for Bible translations that may be quoted: ESV = English Standard Version; NLT = New Living Translation; CSB = Christian Standard Bible; GW = God’s Word; Amplified Bible = AMP; KJV = King James Version; New King James Version = NKJV; The Message = MSG; KNT = Kingdom New Testament)
1 Peter 3:1-7: Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered (ESV).
• Lord willing, next Lord’s Day, which is Father’s Day, I plan to teach to the husbands from verse 7. So guys, our turn is coming next week.
• Some jokingly and some not so jokingly, have asked why does Peter devote four sentences to Christian wives and only one sentence to Christian husbands?
• Once we understand the culture of Peter’s original recipients of this letter, it makes sense.
• In the culture of Peter’s day, husbands, whether they followed pagan gods or the God of Jews and Christians, were in positions of authority over their wives and children.
• Today’s passage is dealing with Christian wives who had converted from paganism to Christianity after they were already married.
• Gareth Reese does an excellent job at providing the cultural background in which these Christian women lived. He writes:
“The emperor was…the head (father) of the “household” (the state). His subordinates and functionaries derived their authority from his position. Likewise in each family the father had…the absolute right to do anything he wished as head of the family. Everyone in the family (wife, children, [household servants]) was under his power. Anything (be it rebellion or religion) that might tend to undermine the father’s power was viewed as dangerous to the fabric of society and would hardly be tolerated. Now we begin to appreciate the position newly made converts to Christianity were in. If she were converted and the husband was not, her problem was far more difficult than that of her husband. If the husband became a Christian, he would automatically extend his ‘father power’ and expect his wife [and everyone else in his household]…to join him in his new religion. If they followed him, there would be no problem….But if a wife became a Christian, while her husband had not, she had taken a step which in the ancient world was viewed as dangerous, and which could produce the acutest problems. The attitude of the Roman world was that no woman dared make any decision without her husband’s permission. What then, must have been the problems of the wife who became a Christian while her husband remained faithful to the ancestral gods?”—1 & 2 Peter & Jude, p. 65
• So you see, the non-Christian husbands had much to lose socially by giving allegiance to Jesus. Their Christian wives ran the risk of great hardship by not worshiping their husbands’ gods. In fact, they were accused of being atheists. They were called atheists because they believed in only one God, the God of the Bible, and not the gods of Greek and Roman culture.
• So how was a wife who was a devoted follower of Jesus supposed to relate to her husband who was not a follower of Jesus but a follower of the gods?
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands,…
• In this statement, Peter acknowledges the God-created institution of marriage with the phrase “your own husband.”
• In fact, there are primarily four God-ordained institutions within the world—marriage & family, government, work, and the church.
• And from 1 Peter 2:13-17 he deals with submission to government authority; 2:18-25 submission to work/employment authority; all of 1 Peter deals with the institution of the church in the world; and today’s passage, 3:1-6 (with v. 7 for next week) submission to authority within the family.
• However, we must remember that for the Christian, first and foremost, our allegiance is to God. When Christians are ordered to do something contrary to God’s will by the government, a spouse, an employer, or especially and sadly church leadership, the Christian is to obey God, to entrust himself or herself to God, and if suffering happens, know for certain that God knows and considers it a gracious thing and will reward them at the appropriate time.
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands,…
• V. 1a, GW: Wives, in a similar way, place yourselves under your husbands’ authority.
• Whether or not the husband is a follower of Jesus, the NT indicates that within the family, the husband is considered the head of his household, following the creation order. Two verses from Paul’s letters:
• 1 Corinthians 11:3: But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. (ESV)
• Ephesians 5:23: For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. (ESV)
• We’ll look at this next week, but understand, husbands, with your authority as head over the wife comes great responsibility to God.
• Regarding the context of 1 Peter 3:1-6, the next question is why should these women who once were pagans but converted to Christianity still be subject to their unbelieving husbands’ authority? Peter answers:
…so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
• …so that…indicates the purpose of the command—it’s evangelistic; it’s missions oriented; it’s about the Christian wife, through her behavior, trying to disciple into the family of God her husband who has heard the Good News but is either indifferent to it or has flat out rejected it.
• Vv. 1b-2, GW: Some husbands may not obey God’s word. Their wives could win these men for Christ by the way they live without saying anything. 2 Their husbands would see how pure and reverent their lives are.
• I know some of you have heard this little story before but I’ll tell it again for the sake of those of you who haven’t. And by the way, I was already a Christian when it happened. Nevertheless, I was a Christian who still had some growing up to do. (I still do by the way.)
• Anyway, my wife and I were talking with another believer one day and I suppose I was trying to be a bit humorous and was probably more obnoxious than anything.
• The person we were conversing with looked at Deloris and said, “Why did you marry this guy?” Without hesitation, Deloris replied, “Missions project!”
• Which, you know, is true. Good missionaries not only work to lead people into a saving relationship with Jesus, but also help them mature in that relationship with Jesus. Deloris has certainly influenced me positively in my walk with Christ.
• Getting back to the passage, Peter is saying to these believing wives: “You might just win your husband over to Christ with a wordless sermon of purity and respectful conduct towards him and reverence toward God.
• Godly, respectful conduct born out of a heart transformed by Jesus is powerfully influential on non-believers.
• It’s more powerful than nagging him about following Jesus. He might take the verbal sermonizing as disrespectful to his authority.
• Now later in the chapter, Peter tells us that we are to be ready to tell people the reason of our hope in Christ when appropriate opportunity arises.
• However, our conduct, our behavior, the choices we make in our everyday lives, our routines, attitudes, speech, ethics and so on are to be in agreement with our profession of faith in Jesus. And when we consistently do that, it leads to some people who are initially opposed to the message of the Good News being won over to Christ through the behavior that corresponds to the Good News.
• 1 Peter 2:12: Live decent lives among unbelievers. Then, although they ridicule you as if you were doing wrong while they are watching you do good things, they will praise God on the day he comes to help you. (GW)
• Peter now gives a bit more detail that is applicable today as it was when it was put to paper:
….3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—
• Peter is not saying that women cannot fix their hair or wear any jewelry any more than he’s not saying women should not wear clothes.
• Peter is not saying that a wife should not put forth any effort in making herself presentable and attractive to her husband.
• I had a professor in Bible college who said, “A little bit of makeup applied well never hurt any woman.”
• What Peter is talking about is gaudy, immodest dress, jewelry and hairstyles worn for the purpose of drawing attention.
• “Braiding” is not like what we think of braiding—weaving three strands of hair together. It referred to elaborate knots decorated with jewels and combs and whatnot to catch people’s attention. (Reese)
• Today, some women still go to the hairdresser once a week for an hour or so and go home. In the first century, some well-to-do women spent 10 hours a day, one day a week, at the salon just to get all fixed up into something showy that stuck up 12 inches or more atop her head!
• “putting on of gold” meant an excessive “wrapping around” jewelry.
• Apparently, some Christian wives thought they could win their husbands over to Christ by following the example of the well-to-do pagan wives.
• Peter says that doesn’t work. Paul gives similar guidance:
• 1 Timothy 2:9-10: And I want women to be modest in their appearance…. (There are women and men who profess to follow Jesus who need to look up the definition of modest in the dictionary. There are far too many Christian women wearing blouses cut too low, skirts and shorts cut too high, everything too tight.)… They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. 10 For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do. (NLT)
• Beautiful conduct wins the day… and the husband!
• And it is conduct that comes to the surface from a transformed heart:
4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,…
• This respectful and pure conduct is not superficial. It comes from the deep place of the heart.
• It’s a matter of disposition sanctified by the Spirit and through obedience to the Word of Christ.
• Peter isn’t talking about being weak or a pushover. He’s talking about the very opposite—a persuasive, gentle strength that over time may very well draw the husband to the Christ being exalted by her consistent, reverent conduct!
• Like all Christian character, a gentle and quiet spirit is a matter of spiritual transformation over time.
• 2 Corinthians 4:16b: That is why we are not discouraged. Though outwardly we are wearing out, inwardly we are renewed day by day. (GW)
• Notice:… the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,…
• Lawrence Richards writes, “Outward appearance fades. Inward beauty increases with the years.” 365-Day Devotional Commentary, p. 1112
• And even if the husband doesn’t seem to notice or appreciate this gentle and quiet spirit as he should, God does: the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.
• Now Peter goes back into Jewish history for a prime example of what he’s written:
…5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.
• Of all the godly women recorded in the OT, Peter singles out Sarah as the prime example of the character he’s talking about. Sarah wasn’t perfect at it, but over a long period of time, that was the tone of her conduct.
• Peter is specifically referring to Genesis 18:12 when Sarah finds out that in her and Abraham’s old age, she’s going to have a baby: So she laughed to herself: “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I have delight?” (ESV)
• She referred to her husband respectfully.
• Husbands, don’t be telling your wife to call you “lord”! Just pay attention to her respectful behavior that flows out of a quiet, gentle spirit from the heart.
• Wives, even if your husband is already a Christian, letting Christ transform your character into what Peter describes will help make him more Christlike if he’s wise enough to notice.
• I know I’m a bit biased, but when I think of a lady who demonstrates the character Peter describes, I think of my wife, Deloris.
• And even though I’m already a follower of Jesus, Deloris’ gentle and quiet spirit has consistently persuaded me to see things in a better light—God’s light.
• She is no pushover. She’s a godly woman of great spiritual strength of gentleness and quiet that is also powerfully persuasive. I know that I married up, that I got the better side of the deal!
• In my view, Deloris is a daughter of Sarah:
…And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
• Peter now indicates that by practicing allegiance to Jesus, the husband still might get upset and be intimidating to her.
• V. 6b, NLT: You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.
• V. 6b, CSB: You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation.
• Christian wives of non-Christian husbands were limited in their options, but Peter wanted them to pursue peace without being intimidated.
• “The Christian’s ultimate allegiance is to God, and when God and husband contradict, the wife obeys God!”—Gareth Reese, 1 & 2 Peter & Jude, p. 67
• By entrusting themselves to God the Father as Jesus did when he suffered will give them courage not to be intimidated by their husbands.
Vv. 1-6, The Message: 1-4 The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.
4-6 Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.
Let’s spend some time reflecting on what God’s Word has shown us—all of us, men and women alike. Please write down your answers to these questions using the acronym SPECK
• Sin to confess?
• Prayer, promise or praise to hold onto?
• Example to follow?
• Command to obey?
• Knowledge to retain?